Survivor: Sing Sing
I am amazed at the popularity of reality television. They do so well and new series are popping up all the time including recent embarrassments Who’s Your Daddy, The Apprentice, and Who Wants to Marry a Hungryman Frozen Dinner. The only one I ever watched was the first Survivor season.
Remember, there was that angry woman, that old guy, and that fat naked guy. Well the fat naked guy, Richard Hatch, won the million dollar prize. I think what happened after he won the money is more interesting than what happened on the show. A wise person, probably Wilford Brimley, said “It’s the right thing to do. And the tasty way to do it”. But an even more wise saying and perhaps more pertinent to this blog is “learn from the mistakes of others”. Gather the children around for an important lesson.
The first season of Survivor was more popular than the Beatles. Or at least that’s what pop culture at the time would have us believe. A group of people from varied lifestyles were left stranded on an island and each episode they voted one of their castaways off the island. Last castaway on the island is filthy rich, or in this case filthy naked rich.
So everyone knew who Richard Hatch was. I did, my parents did, newborns, livestock …everyone. And when I say everyone I specifically mean the IRS. I am still trying to understand how this happened, but Richard Hatch failed to mention his Survivor earnings of 1.01 million dollars on his tax returns. When I can’t understand something, I like to make up pretend answers. So here we go.
Answer #1: Richard Hatch wanted as much money as possible and figured no one would notice. (The episode of his victory is one of the most watched programs in recent television history).
Answer #2: Richard Hatch is rock stupid.
It’s probably a mix of both. Well, Mr. Hatch is looking at five years in prison and $500,000 in fines. Please remember this: The Government Wants Their Money Bad. You know when you really crave chocolate, and you just got to have it? Well the government wants their money more than that. You know how a mammal desires to breathe regularly? Well, the government says, “Show me the Money, Roundskull!“
Anyway, the government funds many initiatives and agencies and when someone earns a million dollars on television, they know it and plan for it. So if you go on reality television, for goodness sake, keep your clothes on.
Remember, there was that angry woman, that old guy, and that fat naked guy. Well the fat naked guy, Richard Hatch, won the million dollar prize. I think what happened after he won the money is more interesting than what happened on the show. A wise person, probably Wilford Brimley, said “It’s the right thing to do. And the tasty way to do it”. But an even more wise saying and perhaps more pertinent to this blog is “learn from the mistakes of others”. Gather the children around for an important lesson.
The first season of Survivor was more popular than the Beatles. Or at least that’s what pop culture at the time would have us believe. A group of people from varied lifestyles were left stranded on an island and each episode they voted one of their castaways off the island. Last castaway on the island is filthy rich, or in this case filthy naked rich.
So everyone knew who Richard Hatch was. I did, my parents did, newborns, livestock …everyone. And when I say everyone I specifically mean the IRS. I am still trying to understand how this happened, but Richard Hatch failed to mention his Survivor earnings of 1.01 million dollars on his tax returns. When I can’t understand something, I like to make up pretend answers. So here we go.
Answer #1: Richard Hatch wanted as much money as possible and figured no one would notice. (The episode of his victory is one of the most watched programs in recent television history).
Answer #2: Richard Hatch is rock stupid.
It’s probably a mix of both. Well, Mr. Hatch is looking at five years in prison and $500,000 in fines. Please remember this: The Government Wants Their Money Bad. You know when you really crave chocolate, and you just got to have it? Well the government wants their money more than that. You know how a mammal desires to breathe regularly? Well, the government says, “Show me the Money, Roundskull!“
Anyway, the government funds many initiatives and agencies and when someone earns a million dollars on television, they know it and plan for it. So if you go on reality television, for goodness sake, keep your clothes on.
posted by AaronJLohr | 1:39 PM
7 Comments:
I'm voting for rock stupid. Maybe that's because I hate reality TV, but mostly I think it's just because I hate stupid people. Any chance to heckle them makes me smile. :)
It's weird. Most people I talk to really don't like reality television, and yet there everywhere. Doesn't make sense. I miss the good old days of quality TV. Where's MacGyver when you need him.
MacGyver is found on DVD these days. I never liked reality TV cause it isn't really real. If I wanted reality TV, I'd want them to show me a real survivor: put 10 people on a remote island with no food or medical crew or $50,000 payouts for all contestants, and make it a last man standing, cage match for the 2 finalists, and the winner not only gets a million bucks, but also gets to live (although, I'm not sure that's a good idea either).
Absolutely brilliant. Now that would be quality television. I hope someone is paying attention. I mean it is called Survivor. How about some rabid animals too. They would make every show better: All My Children, Price is Right, World Series of Poker.
In all fairness to those shows, I think they already have all the rabid animals they could possibly need.
I miss Quantum Leap. Sure it was a bad 80s/90s science experiment gone wrong, but how much fun was that show? Today I'm a doctor, tomorrow I'm a nun.
(I secretly really, really miss the X-Files, but I don't want to sound like too much of a goon...so...shhh)
Quantum Leap was a landmark show. I'm a big fan of Count Bakula. And X-Files was classic. I heard today that Gillian Anderson got married. Fox tried to tell her that her fiance was a no-faced, spider-armed, triple-jointed alien, but she just didn't see it. Besides he's a great cook.
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