Bored Humans Terrorize Butterflies
Every year millions of Monarch butterflies from eastern Canada journey to the central Mexican Mountains for the winter and wild drinking parties. It is truly one of nature’s marvels. But this year’s pilgrimage will test their courage and very sanity as they face a horror beyond the limits of their imagination.
You see, illegal logging is thinning and toppling the fir forests west of Mexico City that protect the butterflies from rain and cold. This concerns many activists who do not have jobs and can find nothing good on television.
One such individual, Francisco ‘Vico’ Gutierrez, desperately wanted to raise awareness of this catastrophic event and his idea could be a catastrophe itself.
“People don’t understand how important it is that these lovely butterflies be protected from the rain and cold,” said a friend of Vico’s. “Without these trees, they may fly a few miles south or possibly buy parkas.”
Vico’s plan, while possibly well-intended, will haunt the memory of these poor bugs for generations. He and his friend plan to accompany the butterflies for the entire 3,415 mile-journey while riding in an over-sized hang-glider painted with giant versions of the orange, black and white wings of the Monarch.
“Mr. Guttierez is clearly ignorant of Monarch culture,” explains Professor Gil Klein of Butterfly Tech. “Their history foretells the end of civilization being heralded by a 400 pound, 34-by-8 foot butterfly named Papalotzin, that would devour their very souls. I know if I was them, I’d be thinking…Papalotzin has returned.”
Ironically, Vico has named his glider ‘Papalotzin’ and has installed vents at the ends of each wing which can produce a heavy “sucking” effect. Should any Monarch be caught too close…well, they would be juiced.
Vico maintains his trip is purely to raise awareness.
“The object of this trip is to increase awareness,” said Vico. “I want people to know about the plight of these beautiful and sinful creatures who refuse to turn from their lives of tequila-swilling and debauchery.”
You see, illegal logging is thinning and toppling the fir forests west of Mexico City that protect the butterflies from rain and cold. This concerns many activists who do not have jobs and can find nothing good on television.
One such individual, Francisco ‘Vico’ Gutierrez, desperately wanted to raise awareness of this catastrophic event and his idea could be a catastrophe itself.
“People don’t understand how important it is that these lovely butterflies be protected from the rain and cold,” said a friend of Vico’s. “Without these trees, they may fly a few miles south or possibly buy parkas.”
Vico’s plan, while possibly well-intended, will haunt the memory of these poor bugs for generations. He and his friend plan to accompany the butterflies for the entire 3,415 mile-journey while riding in an over-sized hang-glider painted with giant versions of the orange, black and white wings of the Monarch.
“Mr. Guttierez is clearly ignorant of Monarch culture,” explains Professor Gil Klein of Butterfly Tech. “Their history foretells the end of civilization being heralded by a 400 pound, 34-by-8 foot butterfly named Papalotzin, that would devour their very souls. I know if I was them, I’d be thinking…Papalotzin has returned.”
Ironically, Vico has named his glider ‘Papalotzin’ and has installed vents at the ends of each wing which can produce a heavy “sucking” effect. Should any Monarch be caught too close…well, they would be juiced.
Vico maintains his trip is purely to raise awareness.
“The object of this trip is to increase awareness,” said Vico. “I want people to know about the plight of these beautiful and sinful creatures who refuse to turn from their lives of tequila-swilling and debauchery.”
posted by AaronJLohr | 1:24 PM
1 Comments:
as it happens, my "bosses" name at my "job" is a one, Curt Gutierrez... maybe they are related...
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