Microwave in Bed: The Pat Robertson Edition

Today’s blog introduces a new feature that I am sure we’ll revisit often.

Here’s how it works. Every once in a while a famous person says something so incredulous that you have to wonder if perhaps they:

1. are heavily intoxicated/medicated;
2. have recently been struck in the head with a wooden plank; or
3. traded their teddy bear in for a microwave oven as a snuggle buddy.

Since I don’t know the exact reason in each case I have to use a non-judgmental overarching term that makes the point that clearly something isn’t right. So let’s just call it “Microwave in Bed”.

The honor of being the first person to appear in this feature goes to Pat Robertson, religious broadcaster and host of “The 700 Club”. I have a feeling it won’t be his last.

As a bit of background you should know that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has said many times that he believes the United States may be plotting to assassinate him. He has a bit of a reputation for being a power-hungry dictator, communist sympathizer, and makes an out-of-this-world BLT.

Robertson made his feelings about Chavez quite clear on his TV program earlier this week. Here’s the quote:

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

What do you think he’s saying? Let’s use multiple-choice. Pick the answer you think best summarizes his quote.

A. We should assassinate a foreign leader.
B. We should kidnap a foreign leader.
C. Assassination is wrong so let’s not even think about it.

If you’re like me, you probably said ‘A’. But we’re wrong. The answer is in fact both B and C. Guess we weren’t paying attention. How can that be? Well let’s go to the man himself. Here’s a few more quotes:

"I didn't say 'assassination'. I said our special forces should 'take him out.' 'Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping. There are a number of ways of taking out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time.”

"Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement.”

I know what you’re thinking. How can someone apologize for an assassination comment when they never said “assassination”? Well I’ll tell you. He clearly sleeps with a microwave oven set on high strapped to his head.

As an aside, I want you to know not all Christians have the same…ideas on foreign policy. I’d much rather try one of his BLTs. We’ll see how it goes from there.