Soul Patrol!!

Yesterday, Taylor Hicks, was a mere mortal, known to most of America as that guy with the gray hair who dances like a colony of fire ants suddenly materialized in his pants. But today he is so much more. He is the American Idol … who dances like his underpants spontaneously combusted.

Sure, he wasn’t the sexiest of the contestants, nor was he well-liked by Simon Cowell. And sure he danced as though his hips were remote-control operated by the Orangutans at the National Zoo Think Tank. But his stage presence was so passionate and likable that he won in a landslide.

Runner-up Katherine McPhee had the looks and the voice to win this competition, but no one could hold a candle to the energy and magic that Hicks poured into every song. When he sang, he could make even the blandest of songs a super hit. And when he danced, he looked like a coked-up drug dealer getting tazed on Cops.

So what does the future hold? Will people pay money to see the gray-haired marvel shake his hips like an over-loaded washing machine? I think they will. And it’s not just because his dancing resembles a newborn gazelle’s first attempt at running. It’s because he’s got soul. And years from now, that is what people will remember most.