Natural Dinner Selection
If you’re like most right-thinking Americans, you love to eat meat. Even vegetarians can’t deny the strong desire to sink their teeth in meaty goodness. Sure, they won’t admit it, but I see how they mold their tofu and other questionable meat substitutes into items like veggie-burgers or tofu sausage. It’s like the child that daydreams of being a knight and builds a sandcastle.
The problem with eating meat is that it can get pretty expensive. A good steak will cost more than $20 at most restaurants. And so we settle for that chicken sandwich or that big salad with the fried chicken strips laying on it. It’s tragic. What if I told you, you could have your meat whenever you wanted, and have it for free?
A man in England named Arthur Boyt has been eating free meat for thirty years. And if you have a shovel and a plastic bag, you could too!
You see our outside world is absolutely jam-packed with animals. They live in the sky, in trees, underground, …just about everywhere. And when the animal population gets too crowded they aren’t happy. So nature dictates that the numbers should be thinned, and some animals are chosen to go out onto the road where they meet a quick end. Biology books refer to this process as natural selection.
Arthur Boyt refers to it as Dinner Selection. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/4660060.stm
“It's good meat for free and I know nobody has been messing with it and feeding it with hormones and growth accelerants and so on. It's just natural, fully organic meat,” Boyt says. “I've lived off roadkill for the last 30 years or so. It adds to the pleasure of a meal to know I haven't paid for it”.
Amen Arthur. Amen. And good luck finding raccoon, otter, or badger at your local Safeway or Kroger Supermarket. These animals aren’t commercially sold, and some in fact are on the endangered species list. But maybe nature has pre-selected them for you. Next time you’re driving home, keep an eye out, and leave some room in the trunk.
And don’t worry about how to prepare them. Boyt is publishing a cookbook full of his greatest recipes. They’re all there: Smear of Dear, Rack of Raccoon, Chunk of Skunk, and the delectable Oodles of Poodles. Bon Appetit.
The problem with eating meat is that it can get pretty expensive. A good steak will cost more than $20 at most restaurants. And so we settle for that chicken sandwich or that big salad with the fried chicken strips laying on it. It’s tragic. What if I told you, you could have your meat whenever you wanted, and have it for free?
A man in England named Arthur Boyt has been eating free meat for thirty years. And if you have a shovel and a plastic bag, you could too!
You see our outside world is absolutely jam-packed with animals. They live in the sky, in trees, underground, …just about everywhere. And when the animal population gets too crowded they aren’t happy. So nature dictates that the numbers should be thinned, and some animals are chosen to go out onto the road where they meet a quick end. Biology books refer to this process as natural selection.
Arthur Boyt refers to it as Dinner Selection. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/4660060.stm
“It's good meat for free and I know nobody has been messing with it and feeding it with hormones and growth accelerants and so on. It's just natural, fully organic meat,” Boyt says. “I've lived off roadkill for the last 30 years or so. It adds to the pleasure of a meal to know I haven't paid for it”.
Amen Arthur. Amen. And good luck finding raccoon, otter, or badger at your local Safeway or Kroger Supermarket. These animals aren’t commercially sold, and some in fact are on the endangered species list. But maybe nature has pre-selected them for you. Next time you’re driving home, keep an eye out, and leave some room in the trunk.
And don’t worry about how to prepare them. Boyt is publishing a cookbook full of his greatest recipes. They’re all there: Smear of Dear, Rack of Raccoon, Chunk of Skunk, and the delectable Oodles of Poodles. Bon Appetit.
posted by AaronJLohr | 12:01 PM
6 Comments:
Unfortunately some will turn their nose up at armadillo without even trying it (even roasted in a lemon-pepper butter sauce and served with a baked sweet potato with cinnamon).
They're so sure that their Big Mac is so much better for them then Shake & Bake Possum. Such arrogance and disrespect for nature...it's sad.
Ha! Ha! Hey, even if it's endangered, you didn't kill it, so no worries there!
Ha Ha! Even if they're endangered, you didn't kill them. That was someone else! No worries for you, then!
Indeed. And to just let an endangered species just rot away is dishonorable. These animals deserve more respect. So shovel them into a garbage bag and take them home.
Now "waterkill" isn't necessarily the same as "roadkill". Manatees are what we call "big and heavy sea mammals". The shovel and garbage bag approach just won't work. In fact, experts say you would need an apparatus that is currently only used by state-funded aquariums and the military. Even if you could get this equipment, you'd have to be fast. When manatees perish their bodies convert into a type of energy that is intangible and brilliant.
You make an excellent point. I should have mentioned that the mystical energy given off by a dead manatee is in fact sentient and quite capable of defending itself if not going outright on the offensive. I wouldn't mess with them if I were you. Besides even if you caught one you'd ... umm.. what was I...oh yeah. Go O's!
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