Snap, Crackle, Ewwww

There is a myth out there that I am sure has led to many sleepless nights, and I want to put a stop to it. Everybody’s heard it. Every night, while you sleep, you swallow about 4 or 5 spiders. Right now, some of you are saying, yeah that’s true, I saw it on Fox News. Well, it’s not true, and with a little common sense, we can prove it.

I admit I don’t know the condition of your bedroom. But if you’re swallowing 4 or 5 spiders a night, then your place is infested with the buggers on a creepy Ripley’s Believe It or Not level.

I’d think that only a small percentage of spiders in your room would actually find their way into your mouth, unless you’ve placed a decoy spider in there wearing seductive clothing. So if you’re swallowing four or five spiders per night then you’ve got approximately four million other, smarter spiders in your bedroom. You should really talk to your landlord. And would it kill you to dust once in a while?

I hope that you all can rest a little easier now that we’ve dispelled this ridiculous lie.

Now let’s talk about a real story that comes to us from Albany, Oregon. A young boy developed a recurring popping sound in his ear, which he likened to the sound of Rice Krispies once you’ve poured on the milk. Eventually it evolved into an ear ache, and so he went to the doctor. Well, the doctor looks in that ear and guess what he sees? SPIDERS!!! ARGGGGHHH!!! EWWWWW!!!! (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/07/spiderboy.ap/index.html)

That’s right, two spiders made a home in there and the doctor had to flush them out. Each spider was about the size of a pencil eraser.

This one is true people so it is now officially FREAK OUT time!!! It’s time to sleep with the ear muffs. Or that might just encourage them to crawl into your nose or under your eye balls. You really should just wrap your head in plastic wrap every night. And just to be safe, soak it in Raid first.