The Redskin Hypothesis
This weekend marked the end of the regular football season. Some teams will go on to the playoffs, and others, like the Washington Redskins will be going home, and won't be allowed to go out with their friends until they've really thought about what they've done.
The demise of the Redskins has cast a dark cloud over the nation's capital. People walk with their heads down, rats sulk in the shadows, and drivers are actually letting people get away with cutting them off on the beltway. It's almost as if no one saw this coming. But you know who did see it coming? Everyone else.
You see, for years I have always speculated that Redskin fans are delusional. Each year, Redskin fans keep talking about how they're the team to beat. And when they lose, everyone seems shocked. I tell my friends who are Redskin fans that they're delusional, but they don't believe me. In fact, they seem insulted.
So, I thought I would rely on science to prove my point. I set up an experiment with a friend of mine, who is perhaps the biggest Redskin fan I know. Each week, we would make between 10 and 15 predictions about what would happen in the game. Who will win? How many times will the Redskin quarterback get sacked? How often will the Redskin offensive line successfully block someone from tearing the quarterback to shreds? Whoever got the closest answer would earn a point.
My hypothesis was that Redskin fans think with their heart instead of their head. My co-worker knows much more about football than I ever will, so he should have made more correct predictions. But, like most Redskin fans, I was betting he would be using his heart instead of his brain. And sure enough he did. In the end, I accumulated a lot more points (I mean a lot more). I made my predictions based on what I actually thought would happen. Somedays I picked good games for the Redskins, some days I didn't.
My co-worker picked them to win nearly every single game. In his world, if aliens did invade, Clinton Portis would trample them all under his cleats and Jason Campbell would launch a football into their mothership, completely obliterating any evidence of their existence.
Like all studies, this one demands a follow-up. Most folks don't buy things from telemarketers, but what if they hired Santana Moss to make that sales call? What if Chris Cooley asked high schoolers to join the army? What if Jason Taylor asked for a bite of your sandwich?
The Redskins have an unnatural hold over their fans, and I find it dangerous. Washington, D.C. is a city of influence, but what happens when the influencers become the influencees? And what if they had influenza...
Sure, we're about to have a new president. And even if the Redskins didn't orchestrate this change, President-elect Obama will soon come to realize that the real power doesn't reside in the oval office. It resides in FedEx Field in Landover, Maryland.
The demise of the Redskins has cast a dark cloud over the nation's capital. People walk with their heads down, rats sulk in the shadows, and drivers are actually letting people get away with cutting them off on the beltway. It's almost as if no one saw this coming. But you know who did see it coming? Everyone else.
You see, for years I have always speculated that Redskin fans are delusional. Each year, Redskin fans keep talking about how they're the team to beat. And when they lose, everyone seems shocked. I tell my friends who are Redskin fans that they're delusional, but they don't believe me. In fact, they seem insulted.
So, I thought I would rely on science to prove my point. I set up an experiment with a friend of mine, who is perhaps the biggest Redskin fan I know. Each week, we would make between 10 and 15 predictions about what would happen in the game. Who will win? How many times will the Redskin quarterback get sacked? How often will the Redskin offensive line successfully block someone from tearing the quarterback to shreds? Whoever got the closest answer would earn a point.
My hypothesis was that Redskin fans think with their heart instead of their head. My co-worker knows much more about football than I ever will, so he should have made more correct predictions. But, like most Redskin fans, I was betting he would be using his heart instead of his brain. And sure enough he did. In the end, I accumulated a lot more points (I mean a lot more). I made my predictions based on what I actually thought would happen. Somedays I picked good games for the Redskins, some days I didn't.
My co-worker picked them to win nearly every single game. In his world, if aliens did invade, Clinton Portis would trample them all under his cleats and Jason Campbell would launch a football into their mothership, completely obliterating any evidence of their existence.
Like all studies, this one demands a follow-up. Most folks don't buy things from telemarketers, but what if they hired Santana Moss to make that sales call? What if Chris Cooley asked high schoolers to join the army? What if Jason Taylor asked for a bite of your sandwich?
The Redskins have an unnatural hold over their fans, and I find it dangerous. Washington, D.C. is a city of influence, but what happens when the influencers become the influencees? And what if they had influenza...
Sure, we're about to have a new president. And even if the Redskins didn't orchestrate this change, President-elect Obama will soon come to realize that the real power doesn't reside in the oval office. It resides in FedEx Field in Landover, Maryland.
posted by AaronJLohr | 10:24 AM
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